Free tool
My Worry Cycle: see the loop, then plan your way out
My worry leads to anxiety. When I avoid, I get quick relief, but my brain learns the worry was right, so my cycle runs again. I can map my own cycle, then pick a small practice step to break it. (Parents and clinicians: fill it in together, in your child’s or client’s own words.)
1What am I worrying about?
A “what if” thought just popped up. What’s my anxiety trying to tell me is dangerous?
My anxiety is telling me… My “what if” thought2How does anxiety show up for me?
How strong is my fear when the worry shows up?
3What do I do to avoid it?
Avoiding includes staying away, escaping, asking for reassurance, checking, or other ways I make the worry go away fast.
4What happens for me right after?
Avoiding usually brings quick relief. That relief is what keeps my cycle going.
↻But then the worry comes back…
The relief doesn’t last. The next time my “what if” thought pops up, it feels just as scary or even scarier, and avoiding feels like the only way out. My brain never learns that it wasn’t dangerous. It was uncomfortable, but not dangerous, and my alarm didn’t need to go off. That’s my cycle, and the good news is I can break it.
Plan my practice ↓Break the cycle
Two targets to break the cycle
I target two parts of my cycle: the “what if” thought and the avoidance.
When pops up, I tell myself: “This is hard, and I can do hard things.” I choose my focus: what I can do right now.
Instead of , , one small step at a time. It’s uncomfortable, but not dangerous.
Challenging anxiety one step at a time
The real trick is to do things that are a little scary over and over again, first in easy ways and then in harder ways. The more you do it, the easier it gets.
Think about the first time you tried swimming. Your body told you it was dangerous and you felt nervous. Jumping in the deep end would have been tough for your first time. So you dipped your toes, then blew bubbles, then practiced kicking in the shallow end. You may have swallowed some water, but pretty soon your body adjusted, and it was actually kind of fun. By going into the pool over and over, your body learned it wasn’t dangerous. Eventually, you were ready to try the deep end, and maybe now you look forward to jumping off a diving board.
You feel okay where you can stand, and you’re ready to try some more.
Less scary than you expected. Your body adjusts to the temperature, and it doesn’t feel cold anymore.
Let your body get used to the water. A little nervous, and a little cold.
Your mind and body learn through your actions that things aren’t as dangerous as you thought, and that you can handle what comes your way. Remember, anxiety is a bully, and it lies. When you don’t believe it and do the thing you were worried about, you usually find it wasn’t so bad, and you feel proud you did something tough. Start with small, easier goals and work up to harder ones. You’ll get there.
This tool is for learning and planning, not a diagnosis or a substitute for treatment. If worry is getting in the way of daily life, see treatment options. In a crisis, call or text 988, or call 911. Nothing you enter leaves your device.